StephenCollins.me

Clerks isn’t for everybody. How could it be?

Throughout all of the Clerks’ universe movies, the references can come and go so fast that if you don’t already know what they are talking about, you’re lost.

But if you are part of the intended audience for the latest Kevin Smith film Clerks 2, you will enjoy the hell out of it.

The dialogue is fast and witty, the characters have progressed to exactly the place you want them to since the last movie (nowhere) and the new characters blend right in perfectly. With the small exception of being expected to believe that Rosario Dawson would look twice at these losers, the casting is great.

Even the storyline works. I mean, for two of the greatest slackers of our movie generation, the thought of actually quitting your job and moving IS a movie worthy event.

The donkey scene was hilarious even if the mere thought of it caused Joel Siegel to storm out of the theater. If you haven’t seen the movie, I’m not giving anything away, but for me the funniest line in the movie may have been, “Oooh, Cake.”

Loves lost and found, dirty jokes and Star Wars lie at the heart of Clerks and if you can keep up, you will love it.

It is sad to me that science is now politics. And that I can’t go to this movie and recommend it without people constantly trying to convince me that it’s all BS and Al Gore just has this agenda and it’s going to help him back to the White House.

Why can’t Al Gore just be a guy who has had a life long concern for the environment, and has dedicated a good portion of his life, pre and post VP, to trying to inform the world that we just might be hurting the planet.

There are facts and figures in the movie that right wing politicos will argue are skewed just to make his point. So there is almost no point in arguing their merit here. If your not going to believe Al Gore’s argument, you won’t believe mine either.

But there is one fact in the movie that I don’t think you can’t really argue with, and a somewhat logical conclusion to that fact.

From basically the beginning of time, through the 1800’s the population of humans grew to about 2 billion people. Then in the last 100 years we went from 2 billion to about 8 billion.

How could this insane population growth not hammer the planet and it’s resources? And maybe, possibly, negatively impact the planet?

I wanted to see this a second time before I posted my review but, alas, that isn’t going to happen.

This movie has become a box office monster, above and beyond what everyone expected, but was it any good? Box office doesn’t always equate to quality.

I think the movie was good. It had some problems, but it was good. It was not as good as the first one, but what movie is? OK, maybe Empire Strikes Back.

This movie had a few scenes that were fall down hilarious. And yet, for a small stretch of the movie, I was bored. I can’t explain it. Maybe there was too much in the movie and I had to disconnect myself from the film to recharge, because they try and throw alot at you.

Alot of it is good too. But there is still a little too much. When Johnny Depp played Captain Jack in the first film, his character came out of nowhere, surprised people and stole the entire movie.

Now, with Jack basically expected to lead the movie, it might not work as well. Jack works better running around with things happening around him. Not leading the way. And it may have backfired a little here.

Storytelling-wise. Obviously not box office-wise.

The biggest complaint I hear about the movie is about the ending and the cliffhanger. I guess I pay just a little too much attention to movie news, but people in the theater did not know that there was going to be a third film next summer.

Much like the Lord of the Rings, the film just ends and many people, even people I was with, let out a few “What the…?”’s. Almost leaving angry that they had to wait another year to see the finale.

The story that I read today said that Hollywood was discussing whether or not Mel Gibson has a future in Hollywood any more, after this weekend’s incident and possible bigoted remarks.

Excuse me, this man has the (at least currently) the 11th highest grossing movie of all time and won Best Director for Braveheart (one of the greatest movies ever), and you think Hollywood may actually turn it’s back against him.

Let’s look at a couple of other Oscar winning directors who might have had a problem or two and whether or not it hurt their careers.

Last time I looked Roman Polanski was a convicted rapist hiding out in France so as not to serve jail time. And he was given an Oscar for the ‘Pianist’ and had it hand delivered by Harrison Ford himself.

Woody Allen has had no end of personal ‘events’ that by some may be considered quite disgusting, and actors and actresses take pay cuts left and right to work with him.

And now we have an actor/.director who is as close to money in the bank as you can get, who wrote out a very detailed apology, covering everything he may have done in his inebriated state and we are going to not forgive him. I have my doubts.

As for the alcoholism, is there any doubt that this man has issues. In watching his movies, I have yet to see another actor take parts where they are anywhere new as persecuted as his. From the insanity of Martin Riggs in ‘Lethal Weapon’ to the face scarring role in ‘A Man Without a Face’, to the torture scenes in ‘Braveheart’ and his direction of the ‘Passion of the Christ’ this man thrives on a tortured character.

To me that seems like something that comes from inside.

Update: The A/C is in and on and it has already dropped the temperature by 3 degrees in the past 3 hours. Yes!!

****

Update #2: Not sure whats going on but the temperature is now rising in the building again.

****

It actually started in the middle of winter, although there was no way to know it at the time. Because, you see, it was cold out.

But come the middle of April, my co-workers started to wonder why it was so darn hot in the building. Not only was the air conditioning not turning on, but the heat wasn’t turning off.

It was then we discovered that the air conditioning unit on the roof of the building, was in need of repair. So much repair in fact, that we needed to buy a new one. OK, then, let’s get a new one.

Needless to say, we are now on week 15 with no air conditioning, in Fort Washington, just outside of Philadelphia.

It was 92 today.

But the outside temperature really doesn’t matter in a situation like this. Because in the no window environment of the building, the heat just seems to build and build, so even on a rainy day in the 70’s the temperature in the building would not change. It also didn’t matter how many people were in the building. The temperature would continually build throughout the day and then slowly come down starting at 10 PM or so.

I know this because I have a thermostat 2 feet from my desk. Or at least I did until the old A/C was removed completely. I would arrive at work with the temperature hovering at a refreshing 85 degrees day in and day out. Leaving when the temperature was around a smooth 92 – 93 degrees.

Now, the company did take efforts to relieve our heat suffering.

It started with turning half off the cool fluorescent lights off in the building. You know the kind that don’t generate any heat. Maybe if we can’t see anything, we won’t remember how hot it is.

Another day, a cooler full of free water was brought in for any employee that wanted it. It was placed in the break room right next to the existing free, filtered, water cooler.

Another day we were told to take an extra break and head out side so we could all stand around in the 95 degree sun and decompress. I opted to stay in side in the only slightly unbearable heat.

Then portable noise makers, I’m sorry, portable air conditioners were placed around the office to offer some cooling. Yeah, OK.

The kindest gesture was actually giving everyone who was dealing with the heat an extra weeks pay. This was actually a great gesture that made everyhone happy, But, I don’t thinnk that one person wouldn’t have traded that weeks pay for air conditioning over the past 15 weeks.

We are hopeful though. After passing installation deadlines of early May, Memorial Day, the first week of June, the end of June and the 4th of July, we now actually have the new unit on the roof.

Of course, its been on the roof now for 2 weeks and was definitely going to be installed last Friday, and then definitely by today at Noon. And now definitely tomorrow when the final part gets here.

So, I am very hopeful. it’s here, it’s on the roof, it can’t be long now. Although, someone in charge did mumble under their breath today that they didn’t this company was actually going to be able to finish the installation.

We’ll see.

I’m a little behind in my reviews, and I thought I’d catch up with what may actually be the best movie of the summer.

The story is pretty simple and most people are familiar with it at this point. Anne Hatheway is a beginning journalist wanna be and Meryl Streep is her satan like boss.

Meryl Streep comes alive and just eats this part up as the devilish boss of a world reknown fashion magazine. As Anne Hatheway stumbles through her best attempts to please her boss, Meryl Streep digs in, and digs, and digs and never lets up.

Even at the end of the movie when we get our ‘everythings peachy’ ending, Meryl Streep still doesn’t let up enough to make it seem feel good.

Most men will probably want to avoid this movie, as was evident by the proportion of women to men at the showing that I was at. But I wouldn’t pigeon hole this as a chick flick just because it’s about a fashion magazine and has an almost all women cast. This is basically an evil boss movie and I think that’s something almost everyone can relate to.

I waited until I saw this movie for a second time, so I could try and get my thoughts in order for this review and make sure my gut reaction was my real reaction and not just a fanboy reaction.

Well, I loved it. More the second time than the first.

Most of the complaints I hear have to do with the fact that we aren’t really covering any new ground in this movie. Well, there is truth to that. Superman vs Lex in some diabolic scheme. Lois swooning over Superman and having another flying over the city moment.

I was ready to hear “Can You Read My Mind?” again.

But, it has been 20 years since the first movie. So some rehashing has to be expected to bring people back up to speed. Most people that I know who have seen the original don’t even remember it.

My biggest worry about the film actually, was the kid. I had storyline fears going into the movie and the fears were realized, but was handled in a way that actually, I thought, added to the movie, rather than harm it, like I was expecting.

I thought Kate Bosworth and Frank Langella were both fantastic as Lois and Perry. I always had a problem with Jimmy Olsen. He always annoyed me and does the same here.

James Marsden as Lois’ fiance was good casting and played the part well. I’m a Parker Posey fan and thought she was funny as Kitty, and actually wished she had a little more dialogue.

Kevin Spacey as Lex was great and he nailed the ‘Gene Hackman’ Luther, if that’s what you were going for. And I’m assuming that is exactly what they wanted as they also cast Brandon Routh.

Brandon Routh is Christopher Reeve. Not only does he have a passing resemblance, but his voice IS Chirstopher Reeve. To close you eyes and listen to the movie you would think Reeve was on screen.

His performance almost completely mimics Reeve’s Clark Kent. And as Christopher Reeve IS Clark Kent and he IS Superman, you could do alot worse than trying to replace him with his virtual clone.

And Routh pulls it off. He looks like Superman, sounds like Superman and feels like Superman. He just works.

Of course the special effects are amazing and it’s almost a waste of space to talk about effects in this day and age. But it was great to see flying done right. You will believe a man can fly.

Rumors are that if this movie doesn’t make $200 million, there will be no sequel. This movie needs a sequel, so please if it starts to struggle in the 180’s go see it again.

…and why it may not be as successful as the first 2 Spider-Man movies.

I, of course, am very excited about next summer’s Spider-Man movie. I loved the first 2. I felt that they were able to put together everything that can be right about a superhero movie and get it on the screen. From the characters to the special effects to the story lines, they just really worked for me, and I don’t doubt that they will work for me in the upcoming third movie.

The only real difference in every superhero movie and their sequels are the villains. And in this movie the villains are different. Well obviously they are different, but in this movie, they aren’t really human. And I can see the casual fan not getting as excited about that.

Spider-Man is the every man’s hero. More often than not Spider-Man is swinging around New York helping the police, rather than getting involved in fantastical or otherworldly events. How people will respond to a movie where the villains are so far from realistic (yes, I realize he sticks to walls) may not sit as well with an audience unfamiliar with the villains.

While the villains from the first two movies were obviously super. They were really just regular people enhanced by technology. Possibly easier to swallow from an average audience.

Granted, there are enough diehards like me to propel this movie past the $200 million mark, but it’s the non fans that will put this movie in the $3-400 million dollar range that the last one was in. I guess we will have to wait a year to find out if intergalactic goo and a man made of sand will bring in or scare away the audience.

So the bad press has begun with the box office results for Superman. It’s day one and since it didn’t break every box office record, it’s obviously on its way to failure.

Look people, calm down. The movie opened on a Wednesday before a long 4th of July weekend, what did you expect. No one is anticipating this movie more than I am and even I decided to wait until the weekend to see it. Why try fitting it into my Wednesday in the middle of the work week, when I have 4 days that I can go see it at any time.

I would be highly surprised if by next Tuesday night it hasn’t collected a cool $150 million and the article will be complaining that it didn’t make $200.

People are expecting Spider-Man 2 numbers but this isn’t Spider-Man 2. The anticipation for Spider-Man 2 was incredible after Spider-Man and the box office showed that. People need to realize that Superman Returns is following not just 2 bad movies, but 2 of the worst movies ever. Superman 3 and 4 were so bad, that the director is basically asking the audience to pretend like they don’t exist.

And I don’t understand where the ‘gay’ campaign is coming from. I guess since Bryan Singer is gay that everything he works on is all of a sudden ‘gay’. Like that’s a bad thing or something.

But people, Superman is a love story between Superman and Lois and the last time I checked. Lois was pretty feminine. And in the last couple of Superman incarnations, pretty darn beautiful to say the least. I guess I’m trying to say that Superman doesn’t appear to be attracted to the same sex.

It’s funny to me that of the 3 X-men movies, the one that has the ‘gayest’ message is the one that he didn’t direct. So why people are looking for hidden messages is beyond me.

So, lets just go enjoy the movie. It’s getting pretty good reviews around the country and will make a ton of money, even if it doesn’t become the next Titanic.

Personally, I’m betting about $310-$330 domestic and close to $600 worldwide.

I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from this film. The cast is large and I’m a fan of most of them. But having never listened to the radio show on which this is based I had nothing to go into the movie with.

Although, I usually prefer not having any preconcieved notions. I usually end up liking the films more that way.

It was an interesting film. Not much actually happens in the film, and yet there are numerous little plots throughout the movie.

It could probably be best descibed as having someone with a camera walking around and capturing some private conversations.

The only plot running through the entire movie is that the theater is shutting down and tonight will be the last performance. But even that plot point doesn’t seem to weigh on the movie too much.

The movie is funny and filled with dialogue. Be prepared to pay attention if you want to enjoy the movie to the fullest. You could miss half the jokes if you let your mind wander during this movie. The characters don’t seem to shut up. Ever.

With all that, I have to say I liked the film. I found it quite funny, especially Woody Harrelson and John C. Reilly’s characters and their songs.

If you haven’t seen it by this point, you’re probably not going to catch it in the theaters. It’s almost finished it’s run. But I would definitely recommend it as a rental.